
Chef Thomas
A Proper Ploughman's Board
A board of good cheddar, thick ham, proper pickle, hard-boiled eggs, and crusty bread. Not cooking so much as assembling with conviction, and one of the finest lunches the English kitchen has ever produced.
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A pile of tiny silver fish, dusted in flour and cayenne and fried until they crackle between your teeth, served with lemon and eaten with your fingers while they're still hot.
The smell reaches the table before the plate does. Hot oil, salt, something crisp and faintly briny. A plate of whitebait, golden and tangled, with lemon alongside and nothing else to complicate it. This is estuary food. Thames food. The sort of thing that used to begin every decent pub supper from Southend to Whitstable and still should.
Whitebait are tiny, whole fish, eaten head to tail, bones and all. If that bothers you, look away. If it doesn't, you're in for something good. They want nothing more than seasoned flour and very hot oil. Two minutes in the pan. That's the extent of the technique. The rest is timing: getting them to the table while they're still crackling, still hot enough to make you blow on your fingers before you reach for another.
I make these when people are coming round and I want something to put on the table while the rest of dinner finishes itself. A bowl of whitebait with drinks, everyone standing in the kitchen reaching over each other, lemon juice on their fingers. There are few better feelings than watching a plate empty that quickly.
The market decides, as always. Fresh whitebait have a clean, sea-salt smell and bright silver skin. If they smell of anything other than the coast, leave them. Frozen will do well enough if fresh aren't to be had, but dry them properly or the oil will make you regret it.
Quantity
400g
Quantity
100g
Quantity
1 teaspoon
Quantity
half a teaspoon
Quantity
freshly ground, to taste
Quantity
enough for deep-frying
Quantity
2
halved
Quantity
small bunch
roughly chopped
Quantity
to serve
| Ingredient | Quantity |
|---|---|
| fresh whitebait | 400g |
| plain flour | 100g |
| fine sea salt | 1 teaspoon |
| cayenne pepper | half a teaspoon |
| black pepper | freshly ground, to taste |
| sunflower or groundnut oil | enough for deep-frying |
| lemonshalved | 2 |
| flat-leaf parsley (optional)roughly chopped | small bunch |
| good bread | to serve |
Tip the flour onto a wide plate or into a shallow bowl. Add the salt, the cayenne, and a good grinding of black pepper. Mix it through with your fingers. Taste a pinch. It should be noticeably seasoned, almost too much, because a lot of it will stay on the plate and not on the fish.
Give the whitebait a quick rinse under cold water if they need it, then pat them dry on kitchen paper. Properly dry. This is the only thing that matters with frying. Wet fish in hot oil spits, steams, and goes limp instead of crisp. Dry fish in hot oil crackles and turns golden. Take the time.
Toss a handful of whitebait into the seasoned flour and turn them gently until every fish is lightly coated. Shake off any excess. You want a whisper of flour, not a crust. Work in batches so they don't clump together.
Pour the oil into a deep, heavy-bottomed saucepan to a depth of about 8cm. Heat it over a medium-high flame until it reaches 180C. If you don't have a thermometer, drop a small cube of bread into the oil. It should sizzle immediately and turn golden in about thirty seconds. If it sits there quietly, the oil isn't ready. If it goes dark in seconds, it's too hot. Adjust and test again.
Lower a handful of floured whitebait into the oil. They'll hiss and bubble. Don't crowd the pan. Fry for about two minutes, perhaps a little less, until they're golden and crisp and curled slightly at the edges. Lift them out with a slotted spoon and drain on kitchen paper. Sprinkle with a little more salt while they're hot. Repeat with the remaining fish, letting the oil come back up to temperature between batches.
Pile the whitebait onto a warm plate. Scatter the parsley over if you have it. Put the lemon halves alongside, cut-side up. Bring them to the table quickly. Whitebait wait for no one. They should be eaten with fingers, head and tail and all, with bread to mop up the salt and a squeeze of lemon over each handful. That's it. That's the whole thing.
1 serving (about 120g)
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