
Chef Dean
Amish Buttered Egg Noodles
The humblest side dish in the Pennsylvania Dutch tradition, where wide egg noodles and good butter need nothing more than salt and a warm bowl to become the thing everyone remembers from the church supper.
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The potluck dish that vanishes first, every single time. Crisp raw broccoli, smoky bacon, and a creamy ranch dressing that turns skeptics into believers and demands a copy of the recipe before you leave.
There exists a category of American food that lives in church basements, VFW halls, and backyard picnic tables. Dishes that travel in Tupperware and get scraped clean before the main course arrives. This broccoli salad belongs to that noble tradition. It is not fancy. It is not French. It is honest, satisfying food made by people who understand that feeding a crowd is an act of love.
The genius here lies in contrasts. Raw broccoli provides crunch that holds up for hours. Bacon brings smoke and salt. Dried cranberries offer bursts of sweetness that catch you off guard. Sunflower seeds add their quiet, nutty presence. And the ranch dressing ties everything together with that tangy, herbaceous richness that Americans have loved since a Montana dude ranch cook first mixed buttermilk with mayonnaise and dried herbs in the 1950s.
I've watched this salad disappear at more gatherings than I can count. The bowl that looked enormous when you set it down somehow empties while you're not looking. People return for seconds, then thirds, pretending they're just tidying up the serving table. Make more than you think you need. Trust me on this.
Quantity
2 pounds (about 3 large heads)
Quantity
1 pound
Quantity
1 cup
Quantity
1/2 cup
Quantity
2 tablespoons
Quantity
1 tablespoon
Quantity
1 teaspoon
Quantity
1 teaspoon
Quantity
1 teaspoon
Quantity
1/2 teaspoon
Quantity
1/2 teaspoon, plus more to taste
Quantity
1/4 teaspoon
Quantity
1 cup
Quantity
3/4 cup
Quantity
1/2 medium
finely diced
Quantity
1 cup
shredded
| Ingredient | Quantity |
|---|---|
| fresh broccoli | 2 pounds (about 3 large heads) |
| thick-cut bacon | 1 pound |
| mayonnaise | 1 cup |
| sour cream | 1/2 cup |
| apple cider vinegar | 2 tablespoons |
| honey | 1 tablespoon |
| garlic powder | 1 teaspoon |
| onion powder | 1 teaspoon |
| dried dill | 1 teaspoon |
| dried parsley | 1/2 teaspoon |
| kosher salt | 1/2 teaspoon, plus more to taste |
| freshly ground black pepper | 1/4 teaspoon |
| dried cranberries | 1 cup |
| roasted salted sunflower seed kernels | 3/4 cup |
| red onionfinely diced | 1/2 medium |
| sharp cheddar cheese (optional)shredded | 1 cup |
Arrange bacon strips in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet. Place in a cold oven, then set temperature to 400°F. Bake 18 to 22 minutes until deeply bronzed and crisp. Starting in a cold oven renders the fat slowly, producing bacon that shatters when you bite it. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate and let cool completely before chopping.
Cut broccoli into bite-sized florets, keeping them uniform so they dress evenly. Trim the tough outer layer from the main stems with a paring knife, then slice the tender inner cores into thin coins. These stem pieces are too good to waste. Rinse everything in cold water and dry thoroughly in a salad spinner or between clean kitchen towels. Wet broccoli dilutes the dressing.
Whisk together mayonnaise, sour cream, apple cider vinegar, and honey in a large bowl until smooth. Add the garlic powder, onion powder, dried dill, dried parsley, salt, and pepper. Whisk again until everything is incorporated. Taste and adjust the salt. The dressing should be tangy enough to stand up to the broccoli but not so sharp that it dominates.
Place the diced red onion in a small bowl and cover with cold water. Let sit five minutes, then drain well. This quick soak removes the harsh sulfur compounds that make raw onion aggressive, leaving you with the flavor and color without the bite that lingers on your breath for hours.
Add the dried broccoli florets to the bowl with the dressing. Toss gently but thoroughly, coating every piece. Fold in the dried cranberries, drained red onion, and half the chopped bacon. Add the cheese if using. Reserve the remaining bacon and all the sunflower seeds.
Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least one hour, preferably two. The broccoli will soften slightly and absorb the dressing, transforming from raw vegetable into something more cohesive. This resting time is not optional. Patience makes this salad.
Just before serving, fold in the sunflower seeds and scatter the reserved bacon over the top. Adding these at the last moment keeps them crunchy. Give the salad a final taste and adjust salt if needed. Transfer to your serving bowl and watch it disappear.
1 serving (about 310g)
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